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Wednesday, December 23, 2009, 8:18 AM
just realised i had a blog. LOLOLOL.going to do second cycle of CPR on it.
i had FAC training today, duno why i feel a little sad.
yu zheng does not trust me enought to become number 2
and i have to fight with jeremy on monday to see the results
i feel disappointed D=
yu zheng talked about my indecisivness
but that was just for the long case when i suddenly blanked out
all of this can be trained with hard work
a leader is not born a leader, it is through training and hard work.
i duno why i have that feeling of extreme sadness
it is just that i don't want to fight with jeremy for number 2
i know my character too well
i will turn all sarcastic and mean on everyone on my team if I fail to achieve what i want
i do not want my friendship with jeremy to go into the rocks because of this incident
since yu zheng told me that he may be changing me away
i have not slept well
the pressure to my head is just immense
when jeremy said he was going home to study the first aid mannual
i freaked out, i felt that my head was exploding
i felt that i had to do better than him
i feel ashamed of myself for thinking that way
but i really want that number 2 place
i feel that i can finally walk out of the shadows of rooster king if i can do that
i can finally erase the nightmares in the previous FAC when we screwed up
i can start anew, not just tied to one position
but am i cut out to be number 2 in the first place?
well, i only can leave this to yu zheng and jacky to decide.
but i will at least put in my 100% effort to retain my place
feeling mistrusted-alm0nD